


Raw

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crying, Emotional Sex, Face Slapping, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:22:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23603746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: In which Felix loses it after keeping a tight lid on his grief for nine years.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Raw

**Author's Note:**

> _Any, any, punishment and rough sex._

It's nearly midnight when Felix comes to his room, just hours after their earlier talk. Felix was still angry, telling him off for his behavior, and Dimitri didn't and still doesn't blame him one bit. Frankly, he knows he should have more coming, but everyone is too happy he's okay.

And deep down, he knew Felix wasn't yelling for the sake of it. Felix, in his own way, cares. He won't allow himself to admit it anymore, but Dimitri knows him. He cares, he's been worried, and Felix struggles to express it as anything but frustration and anger.

He doesn't look angry right now, though.

"Yell at me," he demands, and Dimitri blinks.

"Felix?"

"You want to. Everyone else wants to let me have it for being so insensitive." The words are tight, controlled. "They haven't yet, but I'm sure it's only because there's been so little time between Father's burial and changing our course. Frankly, I'm surprised that retainer of yours hasn't attacked me yet.

"Dedue has better things to do than-"

"I was too harsh," Felix cuts him off. "I had no right to say the things I did. Father was right to tell me off before we crossed the bridge and went into Gronder Field, they-"

"Felix, stop." Dimitri pulls him inside, gripping his shoulders. "I know you're still hurting over your father-"

"If he were still here, he'd give me an earful, maybe even slap me. He's never hit me before, but if there was a good time to start, now's it," Felix prattles on. "But he's not here, he's gone, so you do it. Hit me, yell at me, make it hurt. Make me feel like the scum I am."

If he were drunk, Dimitri could understand, but he smells no alcohol on Felix's breath and only sees raw emotion in his focused eyes.

"What's with this all of a sudden? Since when do you-"

"You almost died! You almost died, my father took the blow, I _lashed out at you,_ and you've-" Felix's shoulders hitch, his eyes squeezing shut. "Fuck, I don't _know,_ the harder I try to stay angry the worse it feels! I just-you were _lost,_ seeing you like that-it..."

"Felix, please-"

"It should have been _me_ that died."

He doesn't register moving, nor the crack of his hand across Felix's face until the deed is done. Felix cries out, a hand going to his reddening cheek, and Dimitri grabs him close again before pinning him to his bed.

"Don't say such _stupid things._ " He shakes Felix. "Don't _ever_ -it hurt enough seeing him die, but if it were _you,_ I-"

Just the fleeting image of Felix bleeding to death in his arms makes his stomach clench, and Dimitri buries his emotions in a bruising kiss that Felix eagerly returns. And that's it, the dam's bursting, everything spilling forth; they tear at each other's clothes, grab whatever bits of bare flesh they can. Nails digging, teeth biting, Felix grinding desperately against him.

"Fuck me," he gasps as they break the kiss, "fuck me and don't hold back, I don't _care_ if it hurts-!" Dimitri's mind briefly flashes back to him and Felix at twelve, soaked from the rain, pressed tightly together in the stables to warm up, the awkward stroking and grindng as they were suddenly aware of each other's bodies transforming into those of men. Then forward, to that last year at the Academy, a heated argument on the empty training grounds leading to angry kisses, groping, and frustrated orgasms.

His vision clears for a moment. They're men now, Felix naked underneath him, looking more vulnerable than Dimitri has ever seen him. A vial of weapon polish is shoved into his hand.

It takes him less than five minutes to prepare both Felix and himself before he thrusts in, their lips coming together in another urgent kiss. Felix's legs wrap around his hips, forcing him in deeper, and Dimitri doesn't, _can't_ hold back. Their movements are frenzied, desperate, afraid one will disappear if the other lets go or slows down. And all too soon everything's bursting into white-hot flames, delicious pain and sorrowful pleasure radiating from every pore of him. Dimly, he's aware of Felix coming undone beneath him moments later.

Clarity returns slowly, and when he sees Felix beneath him covered in marks and bruises, he almost panics. But Felix still has a tight grip on him even as he pulls out. They lay against the sheets in a loose embrace, and Dimitri sighs, burying his face in Felix's shoulder.

"Never, _ever_ say it should have been you again, don't even _think it._ I'll hire a psychic, I'll learn to read minds, but don't you _ever, ever_ say such a _stupid thing,_ ever again. Stupid, _stupid thing,_ " he rambles as soon as he finds his voice. Felix rolls them over so they're lying side to side, face to face. His cheeks are damp, and Dimitri's only vaguely aware of his own tears falling.

"I'm not even drunk. Look at me, weeping and begging and wanting to be hit, I'm _sober._ I-" Felix shakes his head. "Fuck, I didn't even lose it like this when..." _When Glenn died._ Everyone had expected Felix to cry himself sick, but he'd chosen anger, lashed out at his father and snapped at anyone who tried to talk about Glenn.

 _It had to catch up to you sooner or later, didn't it._ But Dimitri doesn't say anything, just nestles closer, letting Felix hold on as tightly as he wants to.

_We both needed this, didn't we._

"Sorry," Felix mutters. "For what I said before, for the last nine years, for-"

"Apologize with your actions, not your words." Dimitri tugs the covers up over them. Felix laughs, a short, bitter sound.

"Letting you have your way with me wasn't enough?" Dimitri sighs.

"You _know_ what I mean."

"I know, I know." Felix twists in the embrace, pressing his back against Dimitri's chest. "Don't worry, you won't be getting rid of me anytime soon. _Someone_ needs to make sure you follow through with your promise not to be an idiot anymore." And Dimitri smiles, relieved to hear the Felix he's known for the past nine years.

"I have a long way to go before I fulfill that promise," he murmurs, taking Felix's hand. "But I will, even if-"

"No. If I'm not allowed to die, neither are you. We're gonna get through this and live till we're old and wrinkly." Felix laces their fingers, squeezing tightly. Dimitri kisses the shell of his ear.

"Deal."

He watches Felix drift off to sleep, watching over him. It's going to be a long time before things are close to okay again, but this is a start.


End file.
